the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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