I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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