Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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