Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
