i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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