One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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