Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
