I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
