that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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