Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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