sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
