Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
