I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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