I'm eating all of the evidence.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
