A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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