Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I need to calm my uterus...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize