in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
