Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
