her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
