if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
