If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I could make wine with my vomit
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
