Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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