oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
