His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
