let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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