having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I intend to get homeless drunk
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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