I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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