What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
