Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize