Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
