yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
