AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
