I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
