We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
