I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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