I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
