we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
