Small penises have feelings too.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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