Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
