you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
its not stalking. its research.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
