her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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