I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
