So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
