I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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