You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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