Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
