New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize