if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
