brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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