I wannas sexs uuuuu
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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