Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
