well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
