Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
