i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
