Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
