You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
