i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
