HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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