Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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