Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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