my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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