My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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