She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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