i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
