Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
