I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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