Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
