What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
