I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize