how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
