babies were throwing up all over the place
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
