where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
