Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
well I can't set my house on fire every night
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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