Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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