When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
