who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
