Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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