Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize