He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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