is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
