if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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