i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
