If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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